I am nobody Nobody is perfect Therefore, I am perfect

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A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

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No, I do not have the will, I have a family now, I make a living writing fiction, and well, play a small role in keeping not national, but worldwide stability in such things as the economics. The thing is, that you are renegades, you do not break the law, but you like to do things your own way, that gets you enemies among the so called "paragons" in the face of society and media. Its just like back in the days, if CIA, The Feds, Interpol and such are known as the "Paragons of civilization" or "the good guys" if you prefer, they can point towards you guys, and say "these are evil", and then nothing can stop them.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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Murder me once, shame on you.

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My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

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Nobody knows why she swallowed the fly, she probably won't die.

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What did one cannibal set to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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What did the famed say when he lost his tractor I lost my tractor!!!!

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Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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What do you call a black man climbing a mountain. A mountain climber.

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What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

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What's worse then 10 babies nailed to one tree? Nailed to 10 trees

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Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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Unless you yourself put you trough that pain and misery, you have no reason to dislike or flee from who you are.

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What is blue and looks like a bucket? A blue bucket

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A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

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Yo momma so lazy she hasn't been to work in weeks and you no longer have electricity or food.

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Roses are angry Violets are too My head is scratchy I need shampoo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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