what do a plane and a mouse have in common? nothing

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banana

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the appropriate amount of medicine as directed by her doctor for her condition.

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If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

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Roses are red pickel are green i split you legs whats in between

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matty russel are you on here

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What's tan, red, black and brown? Your face. Two days later... In the mausoleum. "Your face"

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Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

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what time is it? 3:16

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Why did the old man have only one foot? Sadley, the other one was shot off in World War II and life hasnt been the same for him since.

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What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just kidding! Redheads arn't real.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he needed to get to the store across the street.

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What do you call a black man with cancer? A very unfourtunate man.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

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What happened when a 16 year old guy went over to his friends party? found out he wasn't friends with anyone there, got kicked out and committed suicide.

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How do pigs get hurt? They are run over by a tractor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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