Why are fat people fat? Because they like food.

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jay hefti is so cool and alex askew is hot

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The red guy lives in the red house, the green guy lives in the green house, and the blue guy lives in the blue house. Who lives in the white house? The purple guy, he just hasn't painted his house yet.

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Why did was micheal jackson named micheal jackson? because his was

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Q: Why can't Eric drive a car? A: Because Eric is a rock

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Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

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Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

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What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

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1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

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Wanna know who doesnt no how to right a joke? Who ever wrote this...

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An Indian man left a 20% tip after eating at the closest restaurant to him

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Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

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Robin, get in the batmobile.

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What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

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How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

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What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

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What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

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So, why is winter so terrible? Because, Napoleon was stopped by winter and we aren't all French.

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What's the difference between Al Gore and a slab of formica? Many things, most obvious being that Al Gore is a conscious being.

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What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

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Your mother is a very respectable woman.

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What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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