Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

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What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks like a penis

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69

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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what do you call a 40 year old man working at a burger king that dropped out of highschool dyslexic

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

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There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

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What has legs but can't walk? A paralyzed man.

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Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Hello, I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I would like to talk to you about religion for a few minutes. B: Thank you, but I'm not interested. A: OK, thank you for your time, sir. B: You're quite welcome. Good day. A: Have a nice afternoon. B: You too. Bye A: Ba-bye.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Ask me if you can see my dinosaur. Can I see your dinosaur? No dinosaurs don't exist sillyhead!

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Have you heard about the Polish hockey team? They're not very good, but what they lack in skills they make up for in enthusiasm and good team spirit.

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Whats worse than a dead whore? 9/11

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Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

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what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

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Person A - I farted Person B - YUCK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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