whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

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Why did the Kitty stop meowing? Because its dead.

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Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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knock knock!! kanye west

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Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Irrelevant. The road is no place for chickens.

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People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people. But it's really not. You always have to explain it to them.

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What are we then hypocrites?

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How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

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Knock knock Who's there? A very long space I see what you did there

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I farted!!!!! t'was smelly??????? I LIKE CRABS! #tomato problems

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I Used to be an Adventurer like you, Then I retired to achieve the top Anti-Joke.

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Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

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What's the difference between a duck

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: Boobees

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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