A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was stuck in its coop on the farm. Also, chickens aren't sentient, so they can't reason the same way we do.

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A blonde, a redhead, and Asian are talking. They are friends.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four in the seats, twenty six in the ash tray, and thirty in the gas chamber.

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What's sad about the Holocaust? well i don't know ,it may or may not have anything to do with you and cause absolutely no sad emotions toward the subject. I for one don't care.........

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what's worse than getting a paper cut? Hiroshima

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if I was a girl I would be touching my self everywhere if I was a girl as a boy I would make a diffrence in poltics but thats not gonna happen.

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Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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There is no joke here, stop reading.

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Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

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what did the boy say to the girl? make me a sandwich.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The horse, being unable to understand the barman, breaks a table and shits on the floor.

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12 sea cows waddle into a bar... Yea, I bet, you'd like to hear the end of that one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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