What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

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Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

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What do you call a black man in space? A space monkey.

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Why did George ride his bike to the park? Due to the down economy his parents were forced to sell his bike in order to pay their bills.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What did the diabetic boy with Celiac get for christmas? A gift from his loving parents.

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Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

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A black guy, a Jew, and a Mexican jump out of a plane. Who dies first? Well, judging by the fact that black people in general have a higher body mass, the black man most likely would smash into the ground first.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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How did the blond become a lawyer? She didnt. After many years of collage and studying, she broke down and quit, and became a stripper.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to your house Knock knock: whos there? The chicken duh

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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how do you find will smith in the snow? with rescue dogs

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Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

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stuarts mum

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what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh

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Why did the Filipino man get small condoms? Because he's not black.

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Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

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Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops