A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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obama leadership

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

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what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

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Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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your mumma so fat she ate a horse and she still had room for dinner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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