why was the boy's face burnt? a horrible accident involving a lighter and some hairspray

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I've had amnesia as long as I can remember

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

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How do you get a black person to drop chicken? Yell KKK.

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What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

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GONNA

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" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

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Why did the Kitty stop meowing? Because its dead.

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

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A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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This is an anti-joke.

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Is this where I type the joke?

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Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

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knock knock Who's there? ... Hello?

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what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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