Once there was a rich man who lived in a castle on a hill. One fine morning who awoke and decided to go downstairs to make a cup of tea. As he switched on the kettle, he realised he had no tea bags, and so, went to the local shops to buy some – but when he arrived back, his magnificent castle had been burnt down to the ground. The man, obviously shocked, looked around in hope for some evidence as to who would commit this awful crime, but he saw nothing, apart from a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance and they give him a mansion. One morning in the man’s fine mansion, he decided he wanted a nice cup of tea, so went downstairs, discovered he had no teabags, went to the shop to purchase some and came back to find his mansion was no more than a pile of ash. Once again he looked around and saw nothing other than a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance for a second time and they give him a normal house. One morning in the man’s normal house, he feels the need for a cup of tea. But has no teabags, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to find his normal house has burnt down. In the distance a little green man is running away. Insurance give the man a small cottage. And one morning in this small cottage, the man goes downstairs to make a cup of tea, but once again he has no teabags. Off to the shops he went to buy some but discovered, as he approached his cottage on the way home, that it had been burnt down. He looked around to see the now familiar sight of a little green man running off into the distance. Insurance give him a caravan. One morning in the caravan, the man discovers, while attempting to make a cup of tea, that he has no teabags. So, naively, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to his caravan to find it burnt down. He looked up and saw a little green man running off into the distance. The now annoyed insurance company give the man a tent. One sunny morning in the man’s tent - he feels the need for tea, but has no teabags; he goes to the shop to buy some and arrives back at his tent to find a little green man holding a can of gasoline and some matches. The man asks: “are you the one who has been burning down all my houses?” And the little green man replies: “No.”

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The Mexican word of the day is JUICY. Tell me if juicy see the cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

2 women were sitting quietly

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what is worse than finding a worm in your apple being tricked by your best friend to mule drugs over the boarder and then imprisoned in a Vietnamese jail, where you will most likely will be traded for sex and other horrid act of sodomy, only to escape and work as a sex slave to earn your way home, because that is the life you know now there is no way out you will die here.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the terorist do when he went out side blew up

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Spell: “This word”

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is Kanye West's main goal in life? To crush the hopes and dreams of singing stars on national television, beginning with Taylor Swift.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black man walks up to the cashier with twenty buckets of KFC and seventeen gallons of grape Kool - Aid. The cashier says, "Do you want a bag for those?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut? A Heart Attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened when a 16 year old guy went over to his friends party? found out he wasn't friends with anyone there, got kicked out and committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call two dead blondes? A terrible day for their families and for many more to come

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mama is so ugly, she entered an ugly contest and placed well in her division.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a crocodile in a dentist? I have no idea, but I'd hate to be that dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops