Neither does he.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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I share two rooms with my mother.

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What's another word for a priest? Rapist

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What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

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What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

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Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

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Chinese drivers.

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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What is worse than spending time with in-laws? Nothing.

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a donkey? a mule

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops