What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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What do you call a black man in court? A lawyer.

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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FUCK YOU NEVEN

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What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

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roses ar red vilots ar blue i have hiv

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has two penises

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Boobs In The Third Grade? A. Because She's 21

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what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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U know what they say about big shoes? Big socks

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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who likes it up the anus? jason frisone at saybrook ave 08094 williamstown new jersey thats who

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Why we in a Falln tank!!!? Be cause the plane exploded!!!!!!!

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why is Justin Berber gay? hes not thats rust a myth

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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EVERYBODY THUMB THIS JOKE DOWN

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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What do you call a black man working for Bank of America? A successful individual.

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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