Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

Why did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff? Because he was black.

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

knock, knock who's there? I'm here to kill u! I'm here to kill u who? .......

If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

Yo momma so lazy she hasn't been to work in weeks and you no longer have electricity or food.

Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

What did the fat gypsy say to the attractive young woman aged twenty-five? I know you are probably not remotely interested in having sex with me, but I'm afraid that you have no choice due to the fact that I've locked all of the doors.

Whats gayer than driving a prius Buttsex

What did the monkey say to the owner of the world's rarest stamp? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

What Can't You See and Stinks A Fart.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

Q: What is worse than seven babies in a trash can? A: One baby in seven trash cans. Q: What is worse than one baby in seven trash cans? A: The Holocaust.

Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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