Why did the man walk into the bar? Because he wasn't looking where he was going

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The IRS. You didn't pay your taxes so we have to take you to jail.

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had a seizure.

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A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

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Loner.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six affender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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What did the cashier say to the customer? You're total is $27.95

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away." -Louis

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Drunk irish man

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When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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whats blue and fuzzy?.... blue fuzz

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What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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Knock knock, Who's there? Jason. Jason wh-(death sound when being cut by chainsaw)

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

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Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

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7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops