What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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why hppened when the little boy failed his math test? He cut off his penis, shaved his head and hung himself

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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What's better than winning the Paralympics? Having legs.

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why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

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Never tell Alzheimer's jokes to old people. They will not remember them.

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The doctor asks the patient how he's doing, the patient says fine. The doctor says "that's weird cause you have leukemia."

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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A Woman decides she wants to stop making sanwiches for her sexist boyfriend. She walks away and lives a happy life. In hell.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Hello

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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Your in a building there's no windows ,doors and a sement floors and u only have a mirror and a table how do you get out You look in the mirror see what u saw take the saw saw the table in half two halfs make a hole clime out the hole

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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What's the best thing about twenty six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

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What is worse then a worm in your apple? 2 worms in your apple.

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Why cant you find your handle? Because YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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