Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

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Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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Wow, that was a long opinion for someone that does supposedly not watch Hentai, hey, if you like hentai thats cool, I was about your age when I got really tired of watching sex drawn or not and just you know, went for it real life as they say nowadays. I just happen to like your eyes, I mean you do not like them, but avoid mirrors and I will be the one looking at them. Chobits, yeah, I watched that a looong time ago, then deathnote, and then nothing because I got too old for that stuff, Oh wait, gungrave, that I also watched.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station . . .

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Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

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IMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM a beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee immmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmiiiiooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooodfssgihsfdiug

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why did Sally fall of the swing....she had no arms. knock knock who's there? NOT Sally.....

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what do you call a homeless man? poor.

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Q: What do you call a man driving a van with a bunch of stuff in the back that doesn't belong to him? A: A delivery man

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What do a dog and a tree have in common? BARK!

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What came first -- the chicken or the egg roll?

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I enjoy owboy butt sex with big black men please call me at 9528579236

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

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Why did the litle boy's hat come off? cause he got hit by a train!

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Why did the nerd cross the road?? BAZINGA!!!! xD

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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A creationist, an evolutionist, and Neanderthal Man walk into a bar. They order two beers and a glass of red wine. The bartender asks: "Will that be all?". The evolutionist says "Yes"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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