whats funny? laughing at people when they die a slow and painful death.

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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What is Freddie Mercury's favorite planet? Earth.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Knock Knock! I have a door bell, you idiot!

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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What is big, red, and beats rocks? A big, red, rock beater.

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What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

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Why did the fat prick post on the internet? Because he was MorningAfterBoy

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Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

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What did the boy have for lunch? A sandwich.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

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In Kentucky...your grandmother rapes you.

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What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops