A man buy's a new lawn mower, it breaks so he takes it back. The shopworker says that if you don't have a recipt then you cannot replace it, the man goes home and months later catch's a flu.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

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Why couldn't the baby boy read the book? He had eye cancer and was therefore blind.

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roses are red facebook is blue no mutual friends who the heck are you

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What is worse than getting a virus on your computer? Having your mother die of malaria

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand And he said to the man running the stand: QUACK!

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your mammas so poor she is probably going die in a few days of starvation

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Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, you racist.

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Whats the difference between a black person and dirt? nothing

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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What did the bartender say to selena gomez? Your hot.

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You`re honor, he fell off the staircase, I demand that staircase ends up in jail! Case closed.

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Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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This one sucks!

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Is your friend gay? Yeah, duh, of course he's happy.

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What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

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why did the chicken cross the road? -----it didnt

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Why did the guy crash? He was texting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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