Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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maths is annoying!!! LIKE if you agree!!!!! :D

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Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

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A 12-year-old boy comes up to the Polish man and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw you and your wife doing it. Nyah, nyah, nyah!" The Pole answers, "You are a very rude, disrespectful, and inappropriate child. Where are your parents?"

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How many cows say moo? All of them

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roses are red , violets are blue , sugar is sweet and so are you. the roses are wilting the violets are dead. the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head

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A farmer had a horse that he rode frequently. He would talk to the horse and tell it it was his closest companion. One day the farmer noticed that the horse was walking funny. So he shot it.

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If you replace all the letters in your name with G A Y it spells Gay... your gay

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What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

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How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

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What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

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How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

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Roses are angry Violets are too My head is scratchy I need shampoo

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I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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Spongebob: Patrick! Can you hear me? Patrick: No, it's too dark.

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Q:What is the differenc between batman and a black man? A: Batman can go out in the night with out robin

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Why did the blonde become a cannibal? Because she got hungry.

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Murder me once, shame on you.

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A man walked into a bar There were some other people there too

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How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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