roses are red violets are blue my cat died and i have alsheimers who are you

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross a donkey and a horse? a mule

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your moms face is turning purple. I'm coming for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the cure to Ebola? Suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats better than an anti joke? a joke that you find funyer than an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is black and white and red all over? Yemen's national flag.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A turkey and a ham walk into a room. The ham says to the turkey "You're a turkey." The turkey in response says, "Yeah, well you're a ham!" They both then get their heads chopped off, as the room they were in was a slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? It is rapidly becoming outdated and most cellphones these days have the time, but if they like the style they are free to use one.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? Sitting on a black man is just plain rude.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what is the awesomest of them all? me

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a homeless person with a dog? An animal lover.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is prevalent.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -7

porn-hub

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black woman sits down in the front of a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your social life.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference of 13 and 4? 9

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock knock whose there? my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops