A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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SHEA CAPOLUPO HAS A TINY SHLONG. 8- turn your head sideways haha.

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press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

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Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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I have a black guy in my family tree? Yea, his still hanging their

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what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

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What is the difference between a duck? It can neither ride a bike.

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A duck flies to someone's backyard pool. Moments later it takes a dump , then suddenly flies away.

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010011100110100101100011011001010010000001110100011100100111100100101100001000000110001001110101011101000010000001110100011010000110010100100000011010100110111101101011011001010010000001101001011100110010000001110011011011110110110101100101011101110110100001100101011100100110010100100000011001010110110001110011011001012

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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What do you call two black guys having sex with Paris Hilton? N*ggas in Paris

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How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

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You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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what did the jewish kid get for his birthday......Striped pajamas

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Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

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Mitt Romney.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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Why does Deb wear a hat? Because she is actually bald.

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What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

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Why did the chiken cross the road? Well its wing were clipped so it couldnt fly across the road.

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Why did the boy laugh? Mr Tickle was his babysitter

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How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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