Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Neither has Stevie Wonder

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.Why did you just read this?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So a man enters a local paper's pun contest. He enters ten puns in hopes that one of them would win. But unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

dead battery come on down

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock, Knock Who's there? No one OK???? BYE, BYE U still there? Yeah Umm . . . ?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two black men go inside a movie theater. They sit down and watch the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are blue I rather sleep in the class Like a boss in the school -HairyBoss

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. What's worse than 400 babies going down the road at 80 miles per hours in a garbage truck? A. The same babies being dumped into a trash compactor

thumb_up thumb_down +9

roses are red violets are blue i uhh umm hold on... the man with Alzheimers proceeds to think of the rest of his poem he wrote for his date, after an hour he remembers but his date has left and the staff proceed to guide him out and back to the insane asylum

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I walked a few Km from home.. Something stops me in my tracks, there lies A LIE!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Zach Murfitt has a huge penis! Lol jk he has an inchy stryder

thumb_up thumb_down +9

No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anagram.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the bungee jumper say to his wife? Honey, I'm going bungee jumping today.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the mentally retarted student get on his SAT? Drool

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Blue fish occasionally consume large amopunts of the insides of oak trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what is pink and fishy? pink fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops