knock knock who's there? Andrew Oh hey Andrew come on in!

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Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

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Your mom is such a slut, she had unprotected sex at least once.

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its my money!, but i dont need it right away

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What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF What's white and fluffy? A BUNNY What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF What's brown and fluffy? A PORCUPINE

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22

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In soviet Russia - some people were poor.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He didn't, he got run over

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Why did the man throw the woman off the cliffe? Tequilla.

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Whats the square root of x^2? Variables cant be gay

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What did the Man say to the elephant Nothing this man does not speak, the elephant does though

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Tom has 24 cupcakes Tom then ate 24 cupcakes what does Tom have? Diabetes Tom got diabetes

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Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

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Why cant you find your handle? Because YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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Yes. Just Yes.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and oranges? With one,you can make a delicous smoothie, but the other is just a pile of citrus fruits.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

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Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

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A fish and a human had a conversation. The conversation was not interesting because fish can't speak and the human felt awkward.

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I get no respect at all. That's because I am a liar and a thief with no redeeming qualities.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? I honestly don't know, as I have never tested this out, nor do I plan to because I would like to not handle the bodies of poor deceased infants.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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