After filling her car up with gas, a woman leaves the gas station with the pump still attached to her car. Why did this happen, you ask? It was a silly mistake anyone could have made.

why is red the first color in the rainbow? I don't know go ask a scientist.

Q; Why to did the chef jump off of a cliff wearing an Elmo suit? A; Because he felt like it. It;s a free country

Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

alert('hiiii');

A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

whats white, blue, and red all over? a white guy in the ghetto

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

When's the right time to join reality? Right now! Get off your computer!

If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

What did the Mexican man say to the American man? Nothing. Neither of them spoke the same language.

What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

A 21 year old man walks into a bar with a vase of 12 roses. 57 years later he died after a lengthy battle with colon cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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