Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mother is so rotund, in fact she went to a weight loss clinic... but gained weight

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Who's There? Robin Robin Who? Robin Williams Whoa, too early bro

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Probably just one.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

thumb_up thumb_down +23

ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the boy drown? because water entered his lungs and suffocated him.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What's white, black, and red all over? A: The yellow brick road

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is it hot outside? Because God made it so.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the tree catch on fire? A phinix hit it!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

i was going to say a gay joke butt f*** it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What is the meaning of life? A: We don't know. Dwight: FALSE. The answer to everything is 42.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I win an iPad for pooping on someone's head Answer- We have a muddaf**kin winna

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the man say when he was hit with a flying watermelon? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's black and makes me food? A microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the difference between a blonde and a Mexican? Their hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops