Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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Kendall and Nick Fredick

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How do you stop a car? Put on the Brake

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Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

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How did Swiper steal Dora's stuff? He shot her and then took her backpack.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair because the vest has no sleeves.

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hello

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What do you call Chuck Norris when there is a bullet inside of him? Dead.

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Cassidy's a whore so open the door.

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

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Why does Danny work at the factory? Because Danny is in an substantial economic crisis, and doesn't have enough money to afford food for his 6 kids and wife. They will all most likely die soon, as his factory job will not provide enough money.

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If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

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Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

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dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

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Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

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Guess What! HI!

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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Q: What has 1 eye and half of a pig's snout? A: A pig peeking around a corner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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