Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Tuberculosis

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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What did the man bring home from Africa? AIDS.

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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What do you call someone too young to drink? A minor

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? "THE chicken" indicates a definite article, you really would have to specify which chicken you're talking about so i can identify whether i was there at the given moment that the chicken tried to cross the road and to ask it his reason for attempting it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because you didn't fuking cook to -.-

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What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocost

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This is an anti-joke.

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What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

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Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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NASCAR

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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Why was the black woman poor? Well, she grew up in a wealthy family, but both of her parents died. Her new parents were not very supportive and she began to not care about school. She did not go to college because of this and was not able to get a job. Therefore, she had no money.

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Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

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How did the priest die? Masterbation

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How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Get a ladder and help her down.

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What's easier to get than a broke prostitute on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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