A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

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roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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"I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want to hear first?" The good news. "There is no bad news." Then what's the bad news? "There is no bad news.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

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A penguin walks into a bar and orders a beer................ PENGUINS DON'T WALK OR TALK

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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Some men are blind.

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what do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? nothing since it is impossible to combine a cat and a dog

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how do you make the president cry ?? shoot his family !!

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THE GAME

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Knock Knock. Who's there? God. God Who? ::Apocalypse follows::

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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DAMMIT MY IPHONE IS IN REPAIR AND I CANT GET THE APP!!!!!!!

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

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Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

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Why were Jews discriminated against for thousands of years? They weren't supposed to. Jews are people just like you and me. And for every ignorant person out there that hates Jews, you better watch your back because God is watching you.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

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Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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An Asian Woman is late and is driving her car very fast to her daughters wedding. She arrives at a reasonable time to witness the whole event.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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