A muslim walks into a gay bar.

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What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

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Q:What is the differenc between batman and a black man? A: Batman can go out in the night with out robin

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how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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IU football

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

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Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

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What's the cure to Ebola? Suicide

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he fell off a cliff

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A man walked into a bar There were some other people there too

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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I'm off to my tank guys!

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Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

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How do you get a black man to use a condom? You explain to him all the benefits of safe sex.

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How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you get when you mix black, white, and Asian? A panda bear

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What do you call a group of black people? A group, you racist.

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Q: why do the Toronto maple leafs suck? A: they dont they r in seventh place biotch!

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Why do flamingos hold up one leg?f If they held up two they'd fall down.

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What does a plum and a rabbit have in common? A: they're both purple, except for the rabbit!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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