Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm colorblind

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What's Casey Anthony doing now that she's not in prison? She's actually living life as an upstanding citizen in Florida.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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A depressed gay illegal immigrant walks into a bar and the bartender asks why he's sad. The man replies "I'm the most unwanted man in America."

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because they can shoot steal and run and they keep brass knuckles in there waste band.

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mothers funeral.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? What do you mean... we have been having a conversation for a half hour now... that's your name you idiot, Knock Knock!

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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The doctor asks the patient how he's doing, the patient says fine. The doctor says "that's weird cause you have leukemia."

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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what do you say when you see a winner weaner

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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Knock Knock Who's There? Due to the fact that the man asked who's there instead of promptly opening the door, the women on the other side was raped and killed, because she went to that house to seek help.

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What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

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why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

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What's the most racist thing ever... Manhattan

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Penis

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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Whats blue and flies? A suffocating baby strapped to a fan.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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What happened to Emma? I raped her!

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What do you call a black man with no education? An unfortunate outcome of our meritocratic society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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