What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

Knock Knock. Who's there. To. To who. To whom.

Hope you all drop the soap in prison

What is dangerous when eaten? My grandmother's cooking?

the

A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

a black man a chinese man and a mexican man are all on a plane. they land safely and continue with their lives.

Two 50 year old men walk into eachother on the street. one was born in a hobo shack and another was born in a mansion. what did the rich one say to the poor one? Hi, whats your name?

who smells? •Liam

What is cold? Winter

What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

Roses are gray Violets are gray I am color blind

pineapples

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch."

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock The person you are seeking is deaf and cannot hear the sound that is made when your knuckles come in contact with the door. Try calling next time..........

How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

A fat guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "the regular?" The fat man replies, "actually this time I wanna try something different."

What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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