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The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

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why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

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Every time a bell rings, a noise is made.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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A bartender walks into a bar. It's his shift.

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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Nickelback ranked number 1 as greatest rock band according to rolling stones magazine!

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A small boy called peter got stuck up a tree, a man walks past and said "how did you get up there?" peter replies "i fell"

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How often does a black women poop? Every nine months.

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you were my brotha, from another motha, you touch my girl, ill leave you dead in the gutta.

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If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

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How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

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Eine blonde Frau mit ihrem Sohn in Walmart, da sie die Lebensmittel-und Getränkebereich zu nähern, sehen sie ein mexikanischer Mann Blick in die Eier. Der Mann bittet um Hilfe aus der blonden Frau über die Qualität von Eiern. Sie sagt, ABD Eggs sind die besten, so dass die mexikanischen Kerl entscheidet, dass. Beim Verlassen des kleinen Jungen zeigt auf den Mexikaner Jungs Hut und ruft: "Aliens!" die Mutter bekommt wirklich peinlich und ruft ihren Sohn für sein Verhalten und sagt, es ist nicht richtig. Die Mutter wird erleichtert, dass sie sagen, dass die mexikanischen Kerl konnte nicht hören, da er Musik hören. Auf dem Weg aus der Mutter entdeckt einen violetten Flüssigkeit tropft aus der mexikanischen Jungs Haar. Sie fragt ihn, und er antwortet "Sein das Haargel". Die Blondine und Sohn nickt und setzt auf ihr Leben

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whats yellow sticky and smelly? I dont know i was asking you

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Nickelback

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Half the holocaust

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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Women's rights.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm your stalker, welcome to my deserted warehouse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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