roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I get no respect at all. That's because I am a liar and a thief with no redeeming qualities.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the donkey fall over Because it had A diabetic foot infection and had to have a non traumatic amputation of the lower hind leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why are black people so good at basketball? Because they can shoot steal and run and they keep brass knuckles in there waste band.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

thumb_up thumb_down +11

lets have sex, ok, but itll have to be anal, cuz im a guy xoxox danni

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why did you fall of that swing? A: Because I'm fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

your on a bus and you ask your math teacher if you got the answers on the homework right and the bus crashes in the middle of an intersection.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms why did no one pick her up? she was an orphan why did she drown? puddle...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the girl get for her birthday? Older.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

knock, knock. come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road... He wanted to get away from all those jerks who kept asking him why he made the decisions that he did. he later committed suicide...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Dude: Hey want to hear a joke? Other dude: What is it? Dude: Joke. Other dude: What? Dude: I don't know. That was a joke ladies an gentleman.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

no

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Kah-________-

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why do black people hate chainsaws? the noise they make- run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run nigga nigga

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops