Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the avocado say to the person? I can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What do you call a black person with one leg? A: In modern American society, it is proper etiquette to adress somebody by their first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

yo mommas so ugly that everyone died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A Chinese man walks into a bar. With his thick accent, he finds it difficult to order drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A stop sign walks into a bar. Looks like somebody invented walking stop signs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call 100 black people at the bottom of the ocean? An unfortunate tragedy and astonishingly ironic curcumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Do you know your videogames? Test your might!: Getal Sear Molid = Metal Gear Solid. Do you get these though? Combatfrogs. Mechapoliceofficer vs The Enders. Outdoor battlers: Second encounter, speedy version. Above Average Luciano Siblings. Area of the Beginners (if you get this one u are epik!) Monkey D0ng (not so epik :P) G-one (pretty good if you get this one too) Lethal Fighting. (LETHAL FIGHTING!!!) Exploder Guy (kudos if you get it) Requirement for velocity (lol) Weeds vs the Frankensteins (decent) So how many did you get? Check the comment section for the answers.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

These might be offensive Events: * The Black Plague * The Columbine High-School Massacre * The Enron Scandal * The Great Depression * Hurricane Katrina * The Iraq War * Krakatoa * Mt. Vesuvius * September 11 2001 * Titanic * World War I and II People: * Adolf Hitler * Al Capone * Attila the Hun * Blackbeard * Caligula * Charles Manson * Ed Gein * Elizabeth Bathory * Idi Amin * Ivan the Terrible * Jeffery Dahmer * Josef Fritzl * Josef Mengele * Joseph Stalin * Kim Il-sung * The Ku Klux Klan * Nero * Osama bin Laden * Pol Pot * Saddam Hussein * The Taliban * Torquemada * Vlad the Impaler Diseases: * AIDS * Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis * Bubonic Plague * Cholera * Chronic Diarrhea * Cystic Fibrosis * Dysentery * Ebola Virus * Gonorrhea * Herpes * Leprosy * Mad Cow * Malaria * Necrotizing Fasciitis * Polio * Rabies * Scurvy * Smallpox Films: * Antichrist * Audition * August Underground's Mordum * Blue Velvet * The Boy in the Striped Pajamas * Cannibal Holocaust * Goodbye Uncle Tom * Gummo * Happiness * Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer * I Spit On Your Grave * Irreversible * Men Behind the Sun * Mysterious Skin * Once Were Warriors * Requiem for a Dream * Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom * Schindler's List * Taxi Driver * Vase de Noces Misc: * Alcoholism * Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders * Arson * Bestiality * Cannibalism * Capital punishment * Castration * Child abuse * Colonoscopies * Coprophilia/phagia * Drug abuse/addiction * Electric torture * The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned * Genocide * Human sacrifice * Losing one's favorite childhood toy * Mustard gas * Necrophilia * Neo-Nazism * One's grandmother dying * Pedophilia * Racism * Rape * Religious intolerance * Stillborn babies * Suicide * Walking on broken glass * Working on weekends Peter1-8

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the pastor say to the rabbi? Hi (or some other greeting)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the orphan get on his birthday? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops