Want to hear a dead baby joke? Abortion

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There is a bird and a squirrel in a tree. Later, as a farmer walked past, the squirrel ate the bird.

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Why did the man throw the woman off the cliffe? Tequilla.

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Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

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What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

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A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

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How are Polish people and dogs the same? They aren't. One is a human being, and one is a dog. Do not be stupid.

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Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

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What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

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What's black, white, green, red, blue, orange, gray, purple, and yellow? My art project.

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Why did the boy fall out of his high chair? I'm not sure.

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Man goes fishing.... Catches Fish.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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A man walks into a bar and talks with his friends. One of his friends said " Hey, who farted?" When the bar closed, Joe realized it was he who farted.

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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Why cant you find your handle? Because YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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What's black and white, and red all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Your mom is such a slut, she had unprotected sex at least once.

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wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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