how did little johnny die? i killed him

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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P1 : Yo mamma's so fat... P2: My moms dead

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A fat guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "the regular?" The fat man replies, "actually this time I wanna try something different."

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

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My name is never spelt right so its all good

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hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

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DOWN

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" So the horse says, "My ex-wife just got full custody of my kids and I'll never see them again."

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What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

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iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

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what do you call 6 black guys hung in a tree? a arazona wind chime

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I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

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this website is the funniest thing i've ever seen, besides everything i've seen that's funnier than it

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What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

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IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO TAKE!

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Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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What did the man with scissors do? He cut his balls off.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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