what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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I'd type a joke about dicks but it's too long.

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Penis penis poop butt

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I ate a pancake for breakfast not

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What's clear and wet? water

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A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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What ruined the little boy's day? He drowned.

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Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

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Why did the boy like watching NASCAR? He didnt because he was a fish and a secret Soviet spy

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What's the difference between me and a ghost? Ghosts aren't Dolphins!

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

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What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

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Guy: Im bisexual. Girl: Im thermosexual. Guy: ? Girl: Im only attracted to hot things. Which isnt you.

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

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Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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whats white and gooy liguid goop

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The Barackness Monster

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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