What do you call cheese that isn't your's? Someone else's cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mamas so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call someone who can't lose? Charlie Sheen

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Women Voting

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my D***

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Women are definitely a full time job.. You should be paid to have them......

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Republicans

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Vagina ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Black people. They are so kind.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worst than failing your test? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +7

My butt!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops