A turkey and a ham walk into a room. The ham says to the turkey "You're a turkey." The turkey in response says, "Yeah, well you're a ham!" They both then get their heads chopped off, as the room they were in was a slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A panda bear walks into a bar. The bartender then alerts the zoo of the whereabouts of their missing panda.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A black man hailed a taxi cab. He got in, and the taxi drove him to his destination for an appropriate fee.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a black man with his doctorate in the field of marine biology? Doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the poet kill the blackchicken? as a source of inspiration for his poultry

thumb_up thumb_down -18

My mom caught me masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There once was a mathematician, a physicist and an engineer in a room without an exit. The ceiling catches fire. They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's pink and fluffy? A feather duster.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the umpire yell to the flatulent player at bat? FOUL BOWEL!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern ppoorrnnoo-graphic collections.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Terrance was going to clean his room but then he got high, do you know why? because terrance is addicted to illicit street drugs and should seek medical help.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Comment is abusive and has been removed.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you get a clown off a swing Hit it with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you flatten a worm? Feed it to a little boy, and then drop a refrigerator on him.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

You are reading this.Ya you the fat one

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Q: What did the twin tower say to the other twin tower? A: I'm falling for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops