Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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ok so there was a black guy a white guy and an asian in a bar.so the asian guy says lets leave and they all exited the bar.

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Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

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3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

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-Knock Knock. -Come in.

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Knock Knock Come in

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

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Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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Knock, knock. Come in.......

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Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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a blonde and a brunette sit down to take an IQ test. They both scored above average and were very proud.

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You mamma so fat, she should consider going on a diet.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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