Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the chiocken cross the road? There's no such thing as a chiocken.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a chest of drawers. The Englishman put a flask of coffee in the top drawer without even looking. Diane hates wrestling.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas Mittens

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a former pope. Dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Women's football

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

THERES AN APP FOR ANTI JOKES ? now thats not funny !

thumb_up thumb_down +34

women have rights

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

thumb_up thumb_down +32

roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops