What does Batman say to scare Robin? Don't make me get the bat!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A kid walked into a bar, but was kicked out immediately as state law mandates you must be 21 to be withing 12 feet of an operable bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What starts with P and ends in O-R-N? Popcorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yo momma so fat She has heart problems

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A woman walks out of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do we want? Chips!! When do we want them? Chips

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q. Why was the cat brown? A. because it was a maori

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Christians pornstars.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

You are reading this.Ya you the fat one

thumb_up thumb_down -54

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down -60

1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops