why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Nobody cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Bin Laden is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do u call a women between to black guys? -loose

thumb_up thumb_down +38

John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops