A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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Why did Susie fall off the swing - because she had no arms Knock Knock Who is it Not Susie

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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A fat boy walked into a party

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69

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What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

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The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

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hey.

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Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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h

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don't look behind you

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops