Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

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Cows go moo.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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http://anti-joke.com/

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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