you

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How much is an abortion? A life

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than being hit by a mini van? Being hit by 5 mini vans.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A hippie gets on a bus and greets the bus driver in a nice fashion Once the bus stops at his bus stop he thanks the bus driver and gets off the bus

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

wanna hear a good joke? neither do I

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

thumb_up thumb_down +48

I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Womens' rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops