What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

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A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

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What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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Nipples+poop= good stuff. Hellllll yeaaahhhh

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What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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What's fast and white ? A chicken after you hit it going 100mph

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What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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