What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is a question?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Bin Laden comes out of a cave

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than finding mold on your cheese? Getting Raped

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops