What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, they're just out of bad taste.

How do you starve a black family? Hide there government assistance card under their work boots!

Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

123 Main street

What did Mulan say to Pocohantas? Nothing as they are nothing but fictional creation of the childish (yet genius); minds of the Disney corporation. Although if they were capable of empathy (which isn't likely) then they would still, say nothing, as they are from two completely different movies.

Yo momma is so fat that you should really take her to the hospital, i've become very concerned for her.

what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

You remind me of something. What? Summer Why because I'm hot? no because there is no class..

How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

Once upon a time there was a girl who was going out with a boy 2 years older tan her. He was 16 and she was 14. Does it make him a pedo? cause everyone says he is.

Q: What cracks while having sex? A: The pelvis of a four year old...

What is worse than hell?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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