What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

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What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

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There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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World Peace

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? A bike, just what he asked for.

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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What has two wheels, two arms, and a head? A man in a wheelchair. Why was he in a wheelchair? He stepped on a landmine. A man walks, I'm sorry rolled, into a bar.

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Wanna Hear A Joke ? Afgan

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Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

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Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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