What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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Period Blood

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Does this napkin chloroform?

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What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops