In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

69

How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

[Enter Funny-Anti Joke Here] [Enter Retarded Answer Here]

Pickles

Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

Johnson stops eating

so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...