How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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