I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

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i cannot get my penis to rise to the occasion, it is the holocaust tho..

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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How much is an abortion? A life

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What's retarded and comes from Eygelshoven? Roel van den Elzen

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Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made. This market has a very dynamic and fresh selection.

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killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

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why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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What do Jews, Jehovah's Witnesses, Slavs, Gays, and Retards have in common? The Holocaust.

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i dislike sack in my mouth

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"Hello." "Hi."

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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Are you from Nebraska? 'Cuz you're the only ten i see.

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the your face joke

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GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

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A black man, a hispanic man, and an asian man all walk into a biker bar. The bartender asks them if they know that this is a biker bar. All three say yes and tell the bartender that they are in the same motorcycle club. The bartender serves them a beer.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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Rob Bell

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How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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Whats red and hairy ? A carpet !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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